15 ways to appreciate your body more
Judging bodies has become so normal in this world so that it’s hard to believe we can ever be any different, especially if, like me, you judged your body for most of your life.
Judging bodies was very normal in my family - not just your own but other people’s too. Unpleasant as it is to admit, judging other people’s bodies seemed the normal way to take my attention off the hatred of my own body and, very temporarily, feel better about myself by putting someone else down. Relief never lasted long, and in fact the self hatred of my body just increased.
If you can relate to this and you may be wondering how you can change this?
Over the years I’ve explored lots of different ways to stop judging my body, have greater appreciation of it, and enjoy it more. I’d like to share a few of them below.
Stop Judging ALL Bodies. Simple as that. Just stop. The moment you notice you’re judging a body, yours or anyone else’s, just stop. Change your focus and attention to something else, totally unrelated. It doesn’t matter if you have to do this 50,000 times at first. Keep going. The more you stop and change your focus, the more you weaken the pathways in your brain that keep you in constant judgement of bodies.
Commit to changing your relationship with your body. Make a commitment that, no matter what it takes, you still stop being unkind, mean, and judgemental to your body, and instead choose kindness, appreciation, and receiving with and of it. We’ll try to sabotage ourselves a lot at first, and the truth is… if you want your relationship with your body to change, you’ve got to commit to it. Be honest with yourself, what’s more valuable to you: being unkind and judgemental to your body, or being kind and caring to it? You’ve got to value the latter more than the former.
Change the stories you tell yourself. The stories we tell ourself about “I’ll be happy when…..”: I’m thinner, bigger, smaller, more muscly, more fit, more sexy, more defined, my breasts are bigger/smaller, my penis is bigger/smaller, more hairy, less hairy etc etc etc. Are ALL just stories that keep you in constant judgement of you. Who did you even buy those stories from? Who told you that the dream you’re aiming of is the only thing that will make you happy with your body? What if your story changes from “i hate my body because…” to “I appreciate my body every day. I take care of it. I enjoy it no matter what it looks like. I put it in clothes it enjoys. I choose activities that it enjoys. I listen to my body. I never put energy into making judgement real… and so on. Change the story around your body to one that’s much more kind, caring, and supportive.
Engage with and know your body better. Spend time being present with your body every day. How is it feeling? Where is there any tension? What is your body asking for? Does your body seem to go through cycles? Are there times of the day when your body likes to do certain things? What kind of food works best for your body? Same with movement and exercise. Explore and be curious about your body and get to know as if it were your best friend. Because really… it is!
Take time to do pleasurable things with your body every day. Ideally find an hour a day where you get to spend time with your body doing something that is pleasurable. Whether that’s walking, reading, sport/exercise, resting, dancing, sex, masturbation, hot bath, hobby. Involve your body every day.
Do something new with your body regularly. Try new foods, ways of moving, hobbies, sexual activities, different ways of dressing, going to bed at different times, walking at different speeds, meditation or relaxation techniques. Exploring new things with your body is a great way of having a greater relationship with it, enjoy life more fully, and maybe even meeting some new people.
Be grateful for your body. Every day, when you wake, gently stroke and caress every part of your body and be grateful for it - warts, stretchmarks, and everything! Just be grateful for it. When you look into or walk past a mirror, say thank you to your body. May feel really silly at first, but it does get easier and it really creates a different energy with your body. Your body is grateful for you… how about you reciprocate that
Mirror appreciation. Taking the above idea a bit further, spend 5-10 minutes every day appreciating your body. Especially those bits that you would normally judge the most. Jumping straight from “My belly is ugly, fat, and wobbly” to “my belly is sexy, firm, and attractive” is probably not going to work at first. The monkey mind will argue against it. Find neutral statements instead: my belly is human, my belly has a bellybutton, my belly doesn’t require approval. I’ve done this exercise a few times, 10-minutes every day, looking at every inch of my body and choosing to find things to appreciate about it, whilst changing the negative to more neutral statements. It has helped me LOADS and shift a lot for me and for many people I’ve done this exercise with as a coach
Change up your social media accounts. Stop following accounts that only or mostly show “ideal” body types and ones that talk about “the perfect body”. There’s no such thing as a perfect body type because everyone’s point of view about it is differnet. Follow accounts that celebrate ALL body shapes, sizes, and colours. Follow accounts that have images of bodies closer match to your own. Unfollow accounts that vilify and condemn certain body shapes and the ones where you find yourself judging your body most. Surround yourself with people and channels that support you to appreciate yourself not judge the crap out of yourself.
Be more present with your food and eating. It’s very easy to get into habits about what to eat, how much, and when. It’s easy to overeat and eat all sorts of stuff that the body doesn’t really enjoy or want. Switch off the TV and any other distractions when you eat, and be really present with the food on your plate. Slow down your eating and give your body proper time to digest it. Leave some food on the plate with every meal. Don’t eat on the go - sit down and give yourself enough time to eat and enjoy the food. Trying changing up your menu - try new foods, and letting go of some that make you feel bloated, tired, or that don’t make you feel great after eating them. Eating can be a really sensual and enjoyable experience every time - if you allow it to be. And your body will thank you for it!
Enjoy all the senses of your body. Let’s face it, bodies are a sensing organism. We have five senses, how many of them do you allow yourself to really enjoy? Food isn’t just about the sense of taste, it’s also about smell of it and the look of it. That’s why restaurants work so hard to make food look, taste, and smell appealing! Remember the feeling of sliding into a lovely warm bath. Or wading into the sea on a hot day. Or the feeling and smell of soft clean sheets. The calming sounds of nature. The feel of warm sun and gentle breeze on your face. The soft touch of being caressed. Beautiful flowers, forest, mountains, lakes, and beaches to delight your eyes. Be more present with all your senses, and explore new ways of enjoying each of them.
Wear clothes that your body enjoys. One of the things I used to do was buy the cheapest most utilitarian clothes I could find. Black, baggy, and shapeless to hide my body. Never really felt sexy in them. Change it up! Wear clothes that make you feel good - they don’t even need to be expensive. Shop around. Find colours and styles that work for your body, not the stereotype you judge yourself for not being. Wear clothes not to hide your body, but complement it. Including underwear! Let’s face it, most of us where it all day every day, and wearing grey, not-well-fitted cheap underwear is no fun at all. Ladies get a bra fitted properly so you get support, comfort, AND look sexy in it! Men - get underwear that gives you proper support (you’re not flat at the front despite that a lot of underwear is designed that way!) - get different colours and try different styles. There’s LOTS to choose from
Sexual pleasure and masturbation. Yup, we’re going there! Uncomfortable with the topic or not, most people do or have masturbated at some point in their life. It’s a great way of getting to know and appreciate your body, and find out what it enjoys. Take your time with it. Don’t just try to bang it out as quickly and discreetly as you can. There is absolutely no shame in exploring and enjoying your own body. Make time for it - regularly. It’s not just about getting to the orgasm… it’s about enjoying all the sensations along the way. Find new ways of playing with your body, try toys (men and women).
Exercise for pleasure. Moving the body, no matter how you choose to do it, doesn’t have to be a chore or unnecessarily unpleasant. Move it because you want to not because you feel you should. That’s a lot easier when you do something you enjoy - it doesn’t have to be at the gym. It can be dancing, swimming, yoga, running/jogging, walking, playing games, hiking, etc. Do it to feel good and it’ll be a lot more enjoyable and easier to get and keep yourself moving.
Work with a coach or some other professional. Changing how you are with your body is possible doing it alone, but can be a lot easier when working with a coach or other type of professional who can help you keep motivated, give you tips, tools, exercises, and advice, and help you keep going especially if you hit a roadblock!
Small, gentle, ongoing changes to how you are with your body help to create a sustainable, more enjoyable, and more effective relationship with your body… All it takes it taking the first step, and then adding more, day by day, until it’s normal and natural for you to love the skin you are in, and always choose kindness for your body.
If you’d like any further support or help with this, please contact me and let’s see what’s possible.