How to let go…
Are you holding onto something that it would be actually be kind to you (and it/them) let go of?
It can be very easy to keep hanging onto something that you've been so used to having in your life.
We can very easily find reasons and justifications for why we should hold on.
it's not that bad
it's not all been unpleasant
it's given me some value
not sure what I would do with it
there are some things I still like about it
I might get into trouble for letting it go
people might judge me for letting it go
friends might turn against me and judge me for it
I'm not sure what I'd replace it with
I am more willing to suffer the pain of holding on than I am to end up having something even worse take its place
I think we've all been there over the years. I remember when I was leaving the corporate world and a job that paid well, had some nice people in it, BUT worked me long, stressful hours, little thanks, lots of bullying, lots of judgement, and very little enjoyment with the majority of the work.
I knew I couldn't let go of it overnight. I actually started my exit planning in the March of 2002 and left in the September. So it took me about 6 months, to start creating a new space and way of living my life. I had been unhappy and wanting to leave for the previous 12 months but kept going through thoughts similar to the ones above.
I'm so happy I took my time and started planning the letting go month's before my official exit.
I didn't tell everyone what I was planning. It was done quite discreetly, under the radar. Each day focusing on what I wanted instead of what I had, and being clear about how to remove the finger grips of feeling I had no choice but to stay and suck it up.
it wasn't easy. There were good days and bad days. Going into panic about how I'd cope without it. How would I make money? where would I get the support? How would I keep developing? What would I do to keep myself busy? What if it all failed? What if I couldn't cope. What if, what if, what if...
It got me to start being much more present with money.
It got me to start looking at what skills I DO have to offer.
It got me to look at the people I was interacting with and which ones really had my back.
It got me to talk to my partner and make sure he was also comfortable with it and ask for his support
It got me to look at what I really valued in life
It got me to start being really kind to me and honouring my mental health
It got me to be curious about other things that were available to me
It got me to look at what new skills I would need to develop
It got me to start engaging and communicating with new and different types of people
It got me to start really trusting myself and my abilities to deal with anything that comes up
What if it will all be OK?
What if I actually can make this work well for me?
What if I have even more fun with new people I meet?
What if I have more freedom to create in ways that work for me?
What if more people actually start to enjoy what I offer?
What if I can work with a wider range of people?
What if my money flows increase rather than disappear entirely?
What if I get to learn a whole heap of new skills and ways of doing things?
What if no choice I've ever made is wrong?
What if I enjoy it even more and am more successful?
What if I can keep choosing and exploring something different ?
What if there are people willing to celebrate my success ?
What if I can find new things to learn and offer that I didn't even realise were available?
The thing with letting something go is that is isn't always as easy as "just choose something different" and overnight it all changes. Sometimes we do need some kind of exit strategy, support network, preparation, and planning. Not as distractions and prevarications. But as a clear and workable way of letting something go and relaxing into something new and different.
Whatever you're hanging onto that you'd like to let go of but perhaps feel too scared or unable to right now, I invite you to start asking questions about how you can being the steps to change it.
Yes it may be a bit frightening at first... but once the ball is rolling, it does get easier.
I've never looked back since leaving corporate employment - which was 20 years ago.
what can you let go of, or being the process of letting go of today that will be so incredibly kind to you and open up new possibilities and ways of living your life you never even realised were available?
You've got this