Three mistakes people make when trying to change their life
Over the years I’ve worked with literally hundreds of clients on a one-to-one coaching basis and in group settings. When it comes to them changing their life I’ve noticed three recurring mistakes that people often make when aiming to create a change in their life.
They try to change everything all at the same time
They try to change everything overnight
They don’t get clear on what change they really want, and why they want it.
Just one of these on their own can cause disappointment, frustration, and often leads to giving up before things have really started. All three together and change can seem incredibly daunting, overwhelming, and insurmountable. It’s easy to get discouraged when you don’t get immediate, palpable results after just one day.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to change everything in your life, but realistically you can’t do it all at once. So make plan:
Get clear on all the things you’d like to be different
Get clear on HOW you’d like them to be different (What will it look like? How will you feel? How will you know things have changed?)
Get clear on WHY you want the change. What will it give you that you don’t already have? Don’t just immediately assume one route will be best. What are ALL the ways you could have what you want?
Get clear on what is the highest priority for you to change? What will create the greatest and most positive impact first?
Set yourself a timeframe that is realistic and break it down into smaller goals and aims. It will help you keep track and keep motivated.
Don’t get caught up overchecking your progress - when you plant a seed you don’t pull it out the dirt every day to check if it’s started growing yet! Patience is key. Keep reminding yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing and be easy and gentle with yourself as you change things.
I recently started to change up my day as a way of taking better care of my body and blood pressure. My aim is to do at least 30 minutes brisk walking every day. I started with 20 minutes a day and then after two weeks turned it up to 30 minutes. I allowed myself a day off in that first two weeks, but committed to the other 13. My aim was to feel better in myself, bring my blood pressure down easily, and not try to do it overnight. I listen to music and inspirational recordings as I walk and that really helps keep me going and take care of my mental wellbeing at the same time. My body shape is changing and I’m finding I can fit into clothes I haven’t worn for over 2 years (yay!). My blood pressure is coming down gently and steadily (yay!). I’m finding I sleep better at night and feel less tired in the afternoons (double yay!). This has been going on now for 2 months.
I tried for years to try and force my body weight to change but I wasn’t willing to make all the changes required AND I wanted it all to change overnight. When it didn’t I went into the wrongness of me, judged myself, and sulked away eating cake! Not a great choice ,but hey… we live and learn.
My aim for making these gentle, daily changes was to take better care of my body, bring my blood pressure down and ease the work my heart had to do, and extend my life expectancy - I have NO intention of checking out of this body for at least another 30 -40 years or so!
When it comes to change in your life - don’t overhwelm yourself by trying to change everything all at once. If you do that you can put yourself off before you even get started. Break it down. Prioritise it. Remind yourself why you’re changing it. Surround yourself with people who encourage, support, and celebrate you. And above all…. Keep Going!